Last night the New York Times had a live interactive thing on Facebook entitled “Me Time”. It featured yoga, meditation, and Tibetan ringing bowls. Don’t get me wrong- as a bipolar person I know how important it is to take good care of yourself, and I also believe that yoga and meditation and Tibetan bowls can also help some people. Still, calling it “Me Time” seemed perilously close to the Trump administration’s anthem of late.
Maybe we need less “me” and more “other people”.
I highly recommend the new documentary “I am not your negro” about James Baldwin. It calls in to question so much about American life and American ideals, and left me feeling like I was suspended in mid-air. Like there was nothing to hold on to. But really, there isn’t any ground, there isn’t any thing to hold on to. And that’s as it should be.
Americans cling to the notion of American Exceptionalism–that we are somehow more special, more deserving than any other nation. That is simply a bunch of hooey. I agree with a friend, too, that American Exceptionalism is dangerous because it promotes the belief that we don’t owe anyone else anything. Somehow we are unto ourselves, sufficient as we are, and not connected to people around the world.
In 2005, I left America for China because I was disappointed in my own country. I thought I could have a better life elsewhere. I thought people would be better somewhere else. I know, I know, it was a foolish notion of mine. After three years in China, I went to Saudi Arabia, and suffice it to say a lot of bad shit happened there (stay tuned for the book I’m writing), and suddenly I realized I was disappointed with the world in general. I was manic and oh-so- angry. I, again, foolishly believed it was about the place. The place was bad. So then I went back to China, and there, too, I was disappointed. Again I thought it was the place. I blamed Saudi Arabia; I blamed China. But I was wrong. I was wrong even to blame humanity, which you would think is so much more individual and therefore more blameable. I was wrong.
After nearly seven years in China, Saudi Arabia, and Japan, I came home in 2012. It’s taken me years of quality medication and therapy to come to my own perhaps more sensible conclusions: the world, humanity, the universe, whatever–they don’t owe me a thing. It is I who owe the world. I know these are not new ideas. Plenty of people have said the same thing, including a farmer-philosopher in the literary magazine The Sun some years ago whose name I wish I could remember now.
Perhaps the only reason I would recommend travel is not to add to your Instagram account, but to see how other people live. To see that other people work, and strive, and suffer just as we do. To see how the rest of the world is indeed connected to us.
In the movie, James Baldwin says that America is very immature in its outlook on race, racism, and a host of other things. This makes sense to me. Friends from other countries have always mentioned the “innocence” of Americans, but I think what they mean is indeed immaturity. More and more, I think that Americans may have problems with abstract thought, and in particular, the abstract thought, as a friend talked about recently, of empathy. Why do so many white people have a problem accepting that racism exists? Why can’t they accept that one person’s reality is not like another person’s? I think in part it is this inability to make the leap into abstract thought, and therefore the leap into empathy.
We do not live in a society that promotes empathy. We do not live in a society that punishes selfishness-in fact, it seems to reward it. It’s all about the “me”, and increasingly so, with Muslim travel bans, a halt to diplomatic discourse, the dismaying cuts to the EPA and lifting of car emission rules that date back to the 1970s. I don’t care, I’m not listening, it’s all about me, damn it. And the world watches on in horror.
I remember a very good friend of mine, who is Chinese, screaming at me “You are so selfish, Americans are so selfish!” in Xinjiang Province when I left the confines of a travel group to find coffee. Now, I admit to being selfish about coffee. Mostly I think you don’t want to be around me if I haven’t had it. But in this case Xinjiang Province was having some political turmoil between the dominant Han ethnic group and the minority Uighurs, and travel was a bit dicey in some parts. I don’t think I was ever in danger, but my hosts felt very strongly that I should be protected as a foreigner. This was the same place where I accidentally shut down an entire hotel because it wasn’t deemed “safe” enough. My travel company, at the behest of the local police, moved me to a “safe” (more expensive) hotel which was pretty much the same as the previous one, down to the curtains and carpet.
But I think about my Chinese friend screaming at me, and I think, yes, we are pretty much a selfish lot. There are good points about individualistic societies, of course, but this is the downside. We don’t think very much about the choices we make–from the cars we drive, to the food we eat, to the clothes we wear. We think we have the right to the life we live, when in fact it is due mostly to dumb luck and an indifferent universe.
We are not better than anyone else.
We are allowed to make mistakes, and to be disappointed. We are human, after all. I think many people struggle with these issues, and that’s important. Thinking about it, struggling with it, these are beginnings. We are certainly right to start with ourselves in making the world a better place, and if that means yoga and meditation and Tibetan ringing bowls, so be it.